Saturday, 31 January 2015

"No Church is Perfect"

Dear well-meaning (if cliched) christians I meet online,

If just one more of you says to me, "no church is perfect" as a way of dismissing the abuse I experienced, I will probably self-destruct in front of you.

I know this is true.

But I do not accept it as an excuse for abusive behaviour. I do not accept it as a cover-up for harming others.

You see, I am married.

To an imperfect person.

But that doesn't give my husband the right to abuse me.

I understand that he is not perfect. I also understand that I am not perfect. But we have each other's backs. We talk things through. We forgive. We overlook the shortcomings. We value each other, even though we are different. We are committed to this journey we have undertaken together. We live out real love in our relationship.

So if one more of you talks about 'the church' being the bride of Christ in a way that attempts to guilt me into attending an institution every Sunday...

...well, let's just say that I won't be very receptive!

I don't give up easily.

I hung in there when I was being bullied and abused by 'church leaders' who were only concerned with the reputation 'their' institution.

I tried again and again to find a way through the crap.

But at the end of the day, people didn't matter. The institution was everything.

And I survived.

And I'm actually in a really good place now.

And I am even thankful to my abusers for inadvertently setting me free.

So don't try and lock me back in my cage and try to distract me with its golden key.

I've chosen freedom!


  1. Hi Living Liminal

    Yeah - “No Church is Perfect”

    Heard that all to often... :-(

    Sometimes I’ll have some fun and ask... ;-)
    Which church are WE, His Sheep, His Ekklesia, His Called Out Ones, talking about?
    1 - The Church of God?
    Where Jesus is the “ONE” head of His Body? The ONE Shepherd? The ONE Leader?
    2 - The church of man?
    The 501 (c) 3, Non-Profit, Tax $ Deductible, Religious $ Corporation, the IRS calls church?
    Where Mere Fallible Men give themselves “Titles/Positions” pastor/leader/reverend...
    NOT found in the Bible for one of His Disciples? So they can be the boss?
    Are these guys taking the Name of the Lord? And taking His Name in Vain?

    Seems the only ONE in the Bible referred to as Shepherd/Leader/Reverend - IS

    {{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}

    Sometimes I ask...
    How much sin is allowed? Which sins are allowed? In your church?
    By the elder/overseers? By the congregation?

    How much teaching error is allowed?
    How much Spiritual Abuse is allowed? In your church?
    By the elder/overseers?

    Before this “NOT Perfect” church becomes a home for...
    False apostles, Many False prophets, False teachers, False christs, False brethren?
    Evil workers, Wolves, Dogs, Swine?

    Jer 50:6
    “My people” hath been “lost sheep:”
    **THEIR shepherds** have caused them to *go astray,*

    1 Pet 2:25
    For ye were as *sheep going astray;*
    BUT are now returned to the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

    {{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}

    1. "BUT are now returned to the Shepherd..." Amen! It's the best place to be.

  2. Living Liminal

    Hmmm? You write...
    “I also understand that I am not perfect.”

    Was wondering...
    Who told you - you are NOT perfect? In God’s sight?

    Are you eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? ;-)
    Are you “Living Liminal” under the law? ;-)

    Gal 5:18
    But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

    Heb 10:14
    For by one offering he hath perfected for ever
    them that are sanctified.

    Heb 7:19
    For the law made nothing perfect,
    but the bringing in of a better hope did;
    by the which we draw nigh unto God.

    1. With you on that A. Amos :) It's just the living out of that which trips me up sometimes ;)

  3. Preach it… Me too…

    "I've chosen freedom!"

  4. "When you begin to question two thousand years of [church] tradition, you can expect others to be threatened and try to discourage you. They will misinterpret your frustration as bitterness and accuse you of being selfish. They will discount your hungers by saying that we can’t expect the church to be perfect when it is filled with broken humanity." - Wayne Jacobsen

    1. Quote taken from Wayne's new book, "Finding Church."

    2. That perfectly sums it up! Thanks James :D