One of the things I am really struggling to comprehend right now is how someone who has suffered at the hands of a 'christian leader' can then turn around and treat a fellow believer exactly the same way. It's a bit like a variation on the parable of the unforgiving servant found in Matthew 18. In that story the servant who had been forgiven a huge debt by the king, refused to have mercy on a fellow servant who owed him a pittance in comparison.
In the story I've just encountered, a person who knew the pain and anguish of being treated badly by a 'king,' systematically subjected a peer to a campaign of such intimidating behaviour, that the victim's physical and emotional health broke down. Yet even when that person was made aware of the suffering they had inflicted on another soul, they refused to admit that they'd done anything wrong.
Now, unthinkable as it is, I've become accustomed to hearing about (and experiencing) christians in positions of power treating their brothers and sisters like dirt. But I just cannot fathom how someone who knows how devastating that behaviour is, could deliberately dish it out to others with an apparently clear conscience.
Maybe I'm naive, or maybe just plain weird, but I'd rather chew off my right arm than inflict on another soul the distress and devastation that I was subjected to. I thought that would have been a fairly normal response under those circumstances. But apparently I was wrong.
Apparently there are those who have no problem passing on the pain to others - despite constant protestations of their love for Jesus. I simply cannot wrap my head around that!
But irrespective of the pain you've suffered in the past, I would suggest that when someone lets you know that your behaviour is hurting or even harming them, a normal person would stop and listen. Anyone with even a modicum of compassion and empathy would apologise and change their behaviour. You don't even have to be 'christian' to respond this way - it's just simple human decency.
Either way, it seems to me that if a person can inflict pain on others, and neither know nor care, there is something seriously wrong!