Maybe it's because it's the first anniversary of the day I learned that my sister's body was only being kept 'alive' by machines...
maybe it's because a friend has found closure with someone who denies the same to me...
maybe it's because I'm sickened by seeing almost daily proof that the children of my ex-friends have been taught that shunning and treating others like shit is good christian behaviour...
or maybe it's just because it's cold and wet and grey.
But this morning I feel tears pricking my eyes, and a weight on my soul.
The lies and abuse and deception in the 'church' just continue. The elephant is ignored, and when that doesn't work, it's painted and prettified to make people feel better about its existence.
The religious machine keeps chewing up the broken and spitting them out. The religious leaders today are as toxic as those Jesus addressed 2 000 years ago (Matthew 23) - and the people continue to support and enable them.
And yet I find, even as I sit and write these words, that a renewed strength is rising within me. I no longer hope or expect things to change, but I will not stop speaking out because that is my natural response to injustice.
I no longer let others dictate who I am, or how I should behave. I no longer bow to the pressure to pretend or conform. I have permission to be me - no matter how much others hate me for it.
I am reminded that it is legitimate to be me. Exactly the way I am.
I am valid.
And I want to remind you that you are too!