Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Finding Jesus in Unlikely Places (Messing With Our Theology)

In the last few years, I have found my theology changing and growing, in large measure because I have had to face the fact that what I had been taught by the church didn't measure up to it's advertised reality.

To misappropriate a quote from the end of A Knight's Tale:

It had been weighed.
It had been measured.
And it had absolutely... been found wanting.

There are people who would now call me a heretic, and that's ok. I have no use for a religion which hurts people, and so my theology has had to change.

That is why it came as no surprise to me today when I suddenly realised that I have met the love of Jesus through one who once said to me, "I tried that religious thing and decided it wasn't for me."

The person in question is the psychologist I started seeing after the hell I went through last year. Somehow she managed to be both very professional and very compassionate. A rare mix.

Now I find it interesting that someone who disclaims any belief in God herself could be so incredibly warm and accepting of mine. I never once felt judged by her for the things I believed. In fact I felt totally accepted and acceptable to her, no matter what I shared with her.

She was inviting, meeting me exactly where I was, and making me feel ok to be there. She validated me without reserve and encouraged me to find a truer version of myself. She listened to my struggles and helped me find the path to my own healing. Very importantly, she was safe.

And in the midst of all that, she was Jesus to me.

She was the Jesus who met the sick and healed them; who met the broken and made them whole; who met the outcast and made them welcome. She helped set this captive free.

If that messes with your theology, I'm sorry. But I have discovered that God is a whole lot bigger than any one person's 'truth'. He does what he sees fit, regardless of what we believe he should do.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that he has a whole lot of fun doing it!


  1. "Very importantly, she was safe."

    Isn't that something!

    btw, sounds like A Knights Tale there was echoing Daniel Five---in the meaning of the writing on the wall..

    1. "Isn't that something!"

      Being safe really was something! It's just really sad that the 'church' is so often the exact opposite :(

      And you're right, that quote does echo the writing on the wall :)

  2. I'm glad that you found someone encouraging. I went to someone earlier this year (that first year of parenthood can be stressfull) and was pretty disappointed as he took it as an opportunity to try to evangelize me on eastern mysticism. It was a relatively decent conversation, but I left and realized that I had just apid someone to argue with me... and we really hadn't adressed much of what I was going through. Oh well.

    1. Oh, I am so sorry to hear that! I've heard a few similar stories since I started therapy. I'd never done anything like this before and didn't realise that it can sometimes take a few attempts before you find someone who is the right fit for you. (Even though my psychologist gave me permission from day one to say that she wasn't right for me - she was a VERY safe person!)

      I do hope you found some help elsewhere. The experience of parenthood can be so overwhelming, I know. I have found that sometimes just being able to be honest about your feelings can help. As one parent to another, don't forget to congratulate yourself for every day that you don't decide it's all too hard and simply run away. Seriously! :) x