Friday, 3 July 2015

In Which I Am Grateful For My Loss!

This past week, with social media bristling with the noise and reaction to the American Supreme Court's decision regarding same sex marriage, my strongest emotional response has been one of gratitude for being hounded from the IC (institutional church).

That might sound strange... but I can explain.

You see, I spent most of my life in the IC and it taught me well. It taught me that there was a right way to think and a wrong way. It taught me that there was an acceptable way to behave and an unacceptable way. Most of all, it taught me to fear.

To fear anything that was outside the prescribed and approved thoughts and behaviours.

And so with fear and outrage running hot across the internet, and memories of how I, too, used to live in that space flooding in, I was overcome with gratitude for the freedom and rest I've discovered since IC and I so painfully parted ways.

I didn't have to react to what the newsfeeds where screaming at me. I didn't need to fear the sky was falling in. I didn't feel obliged to jump in and 'defend' anything.

I just sat with God and relished his love and his peace, knowing he was immeasurably bigger...


  1. I felt similar. I started a blog post a while back on the subject, but I ended up never publishing it. The gist being that the legislation was inevitable, but was far less significant than how we live out our own marriages. That was a fairly mild response to the issue... I think.

    It didn't prepare me for how little I cared when it actually happened.

    1. I guess it comes down to where our trust rests. If it's in having power and control over the beliefs and behaviours of others, then it's just possible that we have made god in our own image. I choose to trust the One who slept peacefully in the midst of the storm.

      Thanks for your comment Dallas :)

  2. Thanks Ruth. As one who is still in the IC, I do get tired of being expected to defend all manner of things (whihc I generally try to avoid doing!)
    BTW I don't think God needs defending, and all manner of atrocities have been done in the name of defending certain postions, both religious and spiritual - ISIS, apartheid, the holocaust.

    1. When you think about it, do we really want a god who needs defending?

      Here's to God who is big enough, and the freedom to follow him! :)